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define apology [Jul. 18th, 2006|05:03 pm]
eso
sometimes people claim to be apologizing to me when their words sound more befitting of a politician than real person or a friend... but they seem to think that i am a real bitch for feeling that way.

i wonder, what do other people think an apology is or isn't? what can it include and what is unacceptable? am i a heartless bitch? well, that may be so either way, but i'd still like your opinions on the subject.


how acceptable are each of these things in an apology?

1 = unacceptable
(you would not accept any apology that included this or that you would not consider anyone who was saying/doing this to be genuinely apologizing.)
3 = neutral/don't care
5 = necessary (you would consider this to be an essential part of an apology and anyone who did not include this would not be giving you something you would consider to be a true apology or you would not accept an apology that did not include this.)

Poll #772951 apologies

an expression of their personal fault/responsibility

Mean: 4.44 Median: 4.5 Std. Dev 0.61
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(6.2%)
4
7(43.8%)
5
8(50.0%)

an expression of remorse

Mean: 4.50 Median: 5 Std. Dev 0.71
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
2(12.5%)
4
4(25.0%)
5
10(62.5%)

evidence that they understand what they did wrong or what you are upset about

Mean: 4.56 Median: 5 Std. Dev 0.70
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
2(12.5%)
4
3(18.8%)
5
11(68.8%)

a brief explanation of what happened

Mean: 3.44 Median: 3 Std. Dev 0.93
1
0(0.0%)
2
2(12.5%)
3
8(50.0%)
4
3(18.8%)
5
3(18.8%)

a long, detailed explanation of what happened

Mean: 2.33 Median: 2 Std. Dev 0.79
1
2(13.3%)
2
7(46.7%)
3
5(33.3%)
4
1(6.7%)
5
0(0.0%)

an expression of their helplessness or inability to have done things any differently (e.g. "i couldn't help it" or "there was nothing i could do")

Mean: 1.60 Median: 1 Std. Dev 0.80
1
9(60.0%)
2
3(20.0%)
3
3(20.0%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
0(0.0%)

an expression of their helplessness/inability to do things any differently next time

Mean: 1.25 Median: 1 Std. Dev 0.56
1
13(81.2%)
2
2(12.5%)
3
1(6.2%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
0(0.0%)

self berating statements (e.g. "i'm such an idiot" or "i'm a total asshole")

Mean: 2.00 Median: 2 Std. Dev 0.94
1
7(43.8%)
2
2(12.5%)
3
7(43.8%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
0(0.0%)

the words "i'm sorry"

Mean: 3.94 Median: 4.5 Std. Dev 1.25
1
1(6.2%)
2
1(6.2%)
3
4(25.0%)
4
2(12.5%)
5
8(50.0%)

the words "please forgive me"

Mean: 2.38 Median: 3 Std. Dev 0.93
1
4(25.0%)
2
3(18.8%)
3
8(50.0%)
4
1(6.2%)
5
0(0.0%)

flowers, a gift, or some sort of compensation (money, sex acts)

Mean: 2.62 Median: 3 Std. Dev 0.86
1
3(18.8%)
2
1(6.2%)
3
11(68.8%)
4
1(6.2%)
5
0(0.0%)

an expression of having learned a lesson or a promise to not do it again (or at least to try)

Mean: 4.25 Median: 4 Std. Dev 0.83
1
0(0.0%)
2
1(6.2%)
3
1(6.2%)
4
7(43.8%)
5
7(43.8%)

the act of actually not doing it again

Mean: 4.25 Median: 4.5 Std. Dev 0.83
1
0(0.0%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
4(25.0%)
4
4(25.0%)
5
8(50.0%)

an acceptance of your right to reject their apology

Mean: 3.88 Median: 4 Std. Dev 1.11
1
1(6.2%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
5(31.2%)
4
4(25.0%)
5
6(37.5%)

Anything else you think is either necessary or unacceptable? (please state which)

Link21 comments|Leave a comment

just out of curiosity... [Jun. 22nd, 2006|03:04 pm]
eso
so let's imagine this situation:

you have feelings for someone and you've maybe gone on a few dates with them or maybe they're your ex, but in any case, they've rejected you or avoided your advances. you mention it to your friend and a couple weeks later your friend and the person you were interested in are suddenly a hot item. what is your reaction?

i would

reconsider my friendship with this so-called friend; no true friend would do such a thing, and a person who would treat one of their friends that way is not someone who can be trusted.
7(35.0%)
be happy for my friend; after all, the person i was into obviously didn't feel the same way about me, so what difference does it make? plus, my friend's ex is lookin mighty hot these days...
8(40.0%)
other
5(25.0%)

if other, please explain:

are there circumstances that would change your reaction?

where are you from?

LinkLeave a comment

supersecret online dvd stores? [Apr. 27th, 2006|05:58 pm]
eso
does anyone know of a special place i can go online to find unadulterated foreign films on good-quality region 1 or region-free dvds? dubs and "rated versions" drive me totally nuts. i want my english in subtitles, and i want 'em optional. i always want to hear the voices of the actual actors. and hell, sometimes i just want to watch a whole movie without understanding any of the dialogue, especially if i've already seen it before. why is that not ok?
Link6 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2006|04:59 pm]
eso
Excuse me, iPod Nano case design people? I want a case that combines the cushy shock protection and clickwheel coverage of a silicone skin with the clear screen protection, rigid getting run over by a truck protection, and dirt repellant goodness of a hard clear plastic case.

Inner layer: silicone. covers clickwheel. does not cover screen.

Outer layer: hard clear plastic with a hole for the clickwheel. covers screen. has nonslip surface on back but leaves the front or at least the screen area glossy clear.

Must allow access to all controls and be compatible with the universal dock. I don't ever want to have to take the fucker off. Inner skins in pretty glow-in-the-dark colors, please. You may include a thin plastic clickwheel cover for tactile improvement similar to the one in the iSkin Duo. Bonus points for detachable armbands and belt clips.

GIMME!
Link7 comments|Leave a comment

to all you dorky people: [Feb. 2nd, 2006|06:11 pm]
eso
what (pc, not mac) dvd burning software do you use to create dvd-player-viewable dvds?
Link7 comments|Leave a comment

POLL TIME! [Dec. 19th, 2005|03:59 pm]
eso
for a long time i assumed that the common knowledge that women don't like nice guys was correct, mainly because i hadn't put much thought into it. then i realized i like nice guys. i started to pay attention to who made that claim and noticed that most people who say this are whiny doormats who personally can't get women and like to think of themselves as nice. i thought, i am not attracted to men who say this, but it is not because they are nice. rather, it's because i don't like whiny pity-party people and i don't like guys who have no confidence. being confident isn't the same as being not-nice.

Poll #636984 nice guys

What do you think about nice guys?

You're wrong; women really don't like nice guys.
7(21.2%)
Plenty of women like nice guys who are not doormats.
24(72.7%)
WOMEN LIKE DOORMATS!!!
0(0.0%)
I have never heard of this "women don't like nice guys" phenomenon. What the hell are you talking about?
2(6.1%)

And you are?

A nice guy.
3(9.1%)
A doormat.
0(0.0%)
Define "nice".
4(12.1%)
Does making death threats disqualify me? I had a really good reason, I swear!
1(3.0%)
I'm not a guy.
11(33.3%)
I am a guy, but what women like doesn't personally affect me.
1(3.0%)
Er... I don't know any women who like guys, nice or otherwise.
0(0.0%)
I'm not a guy; I'm a MAN.
1(3.0%)
I AM A BANANA!
3(9.1%)
Link49 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2005|05:04 pm]
eso
After the shooting, investigators spread passengers' bags on the tarmac and let dogs sniff them for explosives, and bomb squad members blew up at least two bags. No bomb was found...

what recourse do we have if federal air marshals blow up our luggage? any?
Link6 comments|Leave a comment

just to ruffle your feathers... [Nov. 2nd, 2005|09:53 am]
eso
i'm starting to think a "photographer" is someone who is too snooty to strip off their clothes and jump in the bathtub with me for silly snapshots.

what do you think?

i'm a photographer and i'd jump naked into a bathtub with you anytime! i mean, for snapshots, y'know.
13(76.5%)
i'm a photographer and i personally wouldn't want to do that but i still think you're wrong to generalize, you anti-photographer bigot!
0(0.0%)
i like to point cameras at photographers to hear the squealing noises they make!
0(0.0%)
what are you talking about? i'm a photographer and i take photos of myself in the bathtub all the time.
1(5.9%)
i do take photographs of myself naked in the bathtub, but i'm not a photographer.
2(11.8%)
i'd take naked bathtub photos, but not with you eso!
1(5.9%)
this question offends me. what would your mother think young lady?
0(0.0%)
Link19 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Oct. 13th, 2005|06:17 pm]
eso
because i pay money for these features...

A POLL!!!


do you dream in black & white or color?

black & white
0(0.0%)
color
21(77.8%)
i mix it up
6(22.2%)

if you absolutely HAD to choose one over the other...

black & white photography
7(25.9%)
color photography
20(74.1%)
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Aug. 16th, 2005|08:41 am]
eso
does anyone in the los angeles area know of a good doctor (preferably in west LA; i'm not in much of a shape to drive all around town) who takes aetna?
Link9 comments|Leave a comment

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